Category Archives: Worst Case Scenario Girl

Why I Do Not Make a Good African Woman – Reason #1

And this is a big one!

In many parts of Africa there is a form of transportation called a “bike taxi”.

The bike taxi strikes fear into my heart.

Take a battered bicycle and put a “seat” on the back of it over the rear tire, and you have a bike taxi.

Like this one?

I wish.  No.

Like these ones.  (These have really good seats on them, by the way).

I recently went on another adventure to the African continent.  The trip in a nutshell went like this:

Fly to Dubai, meet up with Abner, hang out in Dubai for a bit waiting for our next flights, and sleep in the airport.  Fly to Dar Es Salaam, Tanzania…me via Qatar, Abner direct.  Meet up with Abner again.  Spend night in DAR.  Take boat to Zanzibar.  Spend time in Zanzibar.  Take boat back to DAR.  Spend night in DAR.  Take buses and minibuses from DAR to Malawi.  Spend time in Malawi.  Take buses/minibuses to Mozambique.  Spend time in Mozambique.  Fly from Mozambique to South Africa.  Say good-bye to Abner as he heads to Lisbon.  Fly home.

This post is about the middle part of the trip.  The part where we meet up with friends in Sani/Nkhota Kota, Malawi.  There’s a lot of stories to tell up to this point, but this is as good a place as any to start.

In Malawi, especially in the rural “bush” areas, women wear skirts.  So, I was in a skirt.  And we were backpacking, so I had a big pack on my back, and a smaller one on my front.  And I’m not a young thing anymore…pushing 50 in fact.  And we’d been on the road for over two days, so I was tired and sore.

As we neared the place where our bus would drop us off to meet our Malawian friends, I began to wonder how, in the dead of night (it was after 10 PM) we would get from the roadside drop off point to Sam’s house (about 10 km) into the bush.  Is it too remote for a regular bush taxi?  Would we walk?  Or, please God, no, would he have arranged for bike taxis?

As you have probably guessed, it was the latter.  I took one look at those taxis and pictured myself trying to jump up onto the back to ride it sidesaddle with all my gear, and in a skirt, and I nearly died.  That was SO not going to happen.  “Fortunately”, once the “taxi drivers” saw the color of my skin, the previously agreed to price all of the sudden became seriously inflated.  I took that as my opportunity to encourage their immediate dismissal, opting instead to do the long walk.

Sam was quite amused.  African women have literally no problem with this form of transportation.  Even the very old ones with a parcel on their heads and one grandbaby in their laps with another one their backs.  And they are graceful while doing it.  Of course, they’ve been doing it their whole life.  This would have been my first time.

I seriously hate being a “problem” like that.  I try very hard to do the best I can to just quietly do what needs to be done.  And normally, I am extremely “game” in most travel circumstances.

But not this time.  I just couldn’t do it.  So we walked.  So I made all of us walk.  😦  And I was glad we did.  It was so very dark and the dirt road was bumpy and full of washed out areas, rocks, and potholes.  Even if I’d have gotten up there, I’m pretty sure at some point I would have fallen off, and possibly injured myself.  This is what I tell myself to make myself feel better about not doing it.

Perhaps the next time I find myself faced with a bike taxi I won’t be in a skirt, I won’t be loaded down, it won’t be dark, and there would be a step stool.  I’d give it a whirl if so.

But not this time.

In this particular case, I did not make a good African woman.


Rich White Men Urinate On Black Women…By Ed Asner

Replace “rich” with “Jew” and it’s a Nazi propaganda video.  Everything that is wrong in America is become of the rich.  Everything that was wrong in Germany was because of the Jews.  The parallels between these two propaganda are myriad.  This is so disturbing.  What on earth is this video even supposed to be used for?  SHAME on everyone involved in it.  Extra shame on Ed Asner.  How can even be involved with a project depicting a rich white man urinating on a middle class black woman.  UNBELIEVABLE.

I think I hear black helicopters.

12/06/12 Update:  The teachers union removed and edited the video to remove the portion where the white rich man urinates on the poor black people.  Good call.  But the rest of the video is just as bad.  They’ve reuploaded the edited version.  Bad call.  They should have quit while they were ahead.


Why I Didn’t Answer The Door

About 20 years ago, I returned home from my noon to midnight shift at a hospital emergency room.  It was close to 1:00 in the morning.  I parked my car behind the rear unit of the tri-plex in which I lived.  The back door and front door were both on the same side of the house, about 25 feet apart.  It was a very dark night.  I had not left my porch light, which actually was pretty much my custom until this night.  But even in the near pitch darkness, I could still see something on my front porch, and that something looked an awful lot like a dead body.

I quickly let myself in the back door as I didn’t have a good feeling about “this”.

I switched on the front porch light and peeked out the small peep door in the front door.  Sure enough, there was a “dead guy” on my porch!  But I was suspicious.  I grabbed the phone and called 911.  I hollered out the peep hole to the dead guy that I had called for help for him if he was the one needing it, and for me, if I was the one needing it.  My landlord was a cop whose mother lived in the front unit, so let’s just say this…the response time was like lightening.  Despite that, once I informed the dead guy that help was on the way, I heard him get up and bolt away down the front path.  The police showed up just moments later.

And they told me it was a good thing I hadn’t gone right to him to see if he needed help, because there’d been a series of crimes against health care workers recently…seems we have this desire to want to help people that sometimes causes us to make decisions that might not be the smartest when it comes to our own safety.  This guy would pretend to be having a medical emergency on the porches of female healthcare workers in order to lure them into “helping” him.  He would apparently scope out potential victims who worked odd shifts and returned in the wee hours.

Fortunately I am worst case scenario girl, or I could have been one of his victims.

So, whoever it was who rang my doorbell at 1:00 THIS morning, that is one reason why I didn’t answer the door.

The other reason is that I have a friend who has a totally cray cray stalker who has been escalating their stalker activities, and I have fallen into the circle of destruction.  I don’t know if they know where I live, but I am not taking any undue chances.

No way I was gonna answer that door.


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