Category Archives: HA!

Romney’s “Goose Cooking” Vote Cast By Michael Moore Should Not Be Counted

From twitter earlier today:

Romney – you see this? This is me cooking your goose. In Michigan. Where the trees are used to make ballots to defeat upic.twitter.com/hxmvyUxA.

Embedded image permalink

This was the picture that was linked.  To make sure we knew just HOW MM was cooking that goose, this image was ALSO provided:

Are you supposed to tweet a picture of your ballot?  Not in Michigan, you’re not.

MICHIGAN ELECTION LAW (EXCERPT)
Act 116 of 1954

168.738 Voting; ballots; folding; deposit in ballot box; rejection for exposure.

Sec. 738.

(1) Before leaving the booth or voting compartment, the elector shall fold his or her ballot or each of the ballots so that no part of the face shall be exposed, and with the detachable corner on the outside. Upon leaving the booth, the elector shall at once deliver in public view the ballot or ballots to the inspector designated to receive the ballot or ballots. Except as provided in subsection (2), the inspector shall tear off the corner of the ballot, where perforated, containing the number and shall then in the presence of the elector and the board of inspectors deposit each ballot in the proper ballot box without opening the ballot.

(2) If an elector shows his or her ballot or any part of the ballot to any person other than a person lawfully assisting him or her in the preparation of the ballot or a minor child accompanying that elector in the booth or voting compartment under section 736a, after the ballot has been marked, to disclose any part of the face of the ballot, the ballot shall not be deposited in the ballot box, but shall be marked “rejected for exposure”, and shall be disposed of as are other rejected ballots. If an elector exposes his or her ballot, a note of the occurrence shall be entered on the poll list opposite his or her name and the elector shall not be allowed to vote at the election.
History: 1954, Act 116, Eff. June 1, 1955 ;– Am. 1996, Act 213, Imd. Eff. May 28, 1996
Popular Name: Election Code

Click for link for source

Apparently his ballot should be “rejected for exposure”.


What Happens If Obama Loses???? (We’re Blaming You Mom and Dad!)

Here’s a little ditty that lays it all out for you.  Enjoy!  (Are we being punked by this video?)

For those of you who can’t bear to watch the video, here are the lyrics:

Imagine an America
Where strip mines are fun and free
Where gays can be fixed
And sick people just die
And oil fills the sea

We don’t have to pay for freeways!
Our schools are good enough
Give us endless wars
On foreign shores
And lots of Chinese stuff

We’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we’re kinda blaming you

We haven’t killed all the polar bears
But it’s not for lack of trying
Big Bird is sacked
The Earth is cracked
And the atmosphere is frying

Congress went home early
They did their best we know
You can’t cut spending
With elections pending
Unless it’s welfare dough

We’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And we’re kinda blaming you

Find a park that is still open
And take a breath of poison air
They foreclosed your place
To build a weapon in space
But you can write off your au pair

It’s a little awkward to tell you
But you left us holding the bag
When we look around
The place is all dumbed down
And the long term’s kind of a drag

We’re the children of the future
American through and through
But something happened to our country
And yeah, we’re blaming you

You did your best
You failed the test

Mom and Dad
We’re blaming you!

12/23/12 Uupdate:  This video has disappeared entirely from the internet.  I cannot find the video footage anywhere now.  The ad was  an independent project by  Silverstein & Partners founders Jeff Goodby and Rich Silverstein. It was unrelated to the agency’s work.  It was a personal agenda piece.  These are the same people who brought you the “got milk” campaign and many other well known national ad campaigns.


First World Problem

For anyone who has traveled and spent any amount of time in underdeveloped (third world) countries, the concept of “first world problem” is not an unfamiliar one.  First world problems are ones that either simply don’t occur in the third world, or aren’t something you would put in the “problem” category due to the rather unimportant nature of them in the big picture.

Yesterday my friend Krista posted this status update on facebook:

”  first world problem: I have cookie crumbs in my papercut. 😦  “

I laughed.

I spent the summer a number of years ago with Krista in the bush in Zambia on a mission trip.  Her duffel bag with everything she would need for the summer didn’t get to Zambia with her.  She spent the entire summer using other people’s stuff and wearing their clothes.  And she never complained, not once.   She was a trooper.  Having nothing?  A third world problem.  But hey, in the first world, a paper cut can sting when it gets cookie crumbs in it!

This morning in my inbox there was an e-mail from a company called “Fab”.  They sell all kinds of really cool and mostly totally unnecessary stuff.  Today a link to some very fun looking brightly colored small kitchen appliances caught my eye.  I would love to own a number of them if only I had room for them in my kitchen (first world problem).  And then I saw it.  A mini s’mores maker.

Really???  Is that a solution to a first world problem or what??

Or does it just take all the fun out of s’mores?


My Little Sister Cracks Me Up…

I recently posted on my facebook page that there was a news report concerning a missing 23 year-old woman.  There was extra concern in this case because (as it was reported) she was “developmentally disabled, having the mental capacity of a teenager”.

Ya know, I made some stupid decisions when I was a teenager, but I don’t exactly consider teenagers in general to be developmentally disabled.

Apparently neither did my sister, Liz, whose space bar on her phone is malfunctioning, and who wrote:

“ThatMeansShe’llBeFine…..

SheKnowsEverything….

AndCanAffordAnything…..”

Like I said, my little sister cracks me up!

(From what I hear, the missing woman was located.)


Familial Vocabulary

Every family has its own special vocabulary.  Over the years, words are added that have meaning sometimes only to the family who created them.  Some of my family vocabulary includes “girts” (skirts), “the oceanbath” (the ocean), “whydidyoudothistomes” (needles and pins), and “yogs” (those chemical fireplace logs).

This is the story of how one of our family’s words came into being…..

A few Christmases ago, because he was new to Colorado, I bought my little nephew (he’s not quite so little anymore) a pair of insulated overalls for playing in the snow.

I called them snowveralls.  I thought I made the word up, but I have since found that I am not the original I thought I was!  🙂

When Mitchell opened them up, he was quite excited!  His mother (my sister) asked him “Do you know what those are??”.

He nodded in the affirmative and replied…..”ovaries”.

So, we now call those slickery insulated winter clothing items…..”snovaries”.

True story.


Slogan Fail

When in Accra, Ghana, we went to a local cultural arts center before leaving Africa for home, to see if there was any sort of souvenir we just couldn’t live without.  Despite there being a labyrinth of stalls, the stalls didn’t have much variety from one to the next.  Much of what was offered for sale was less than spectacular.  And the salespeople were overly aggressive.

The stuff was made in part by local craftsman, though some was clearly imported.  These articles are designed for the tourist population.  In addition to paintings, carvings, jewelry, fabrics, etc., there were lots of religiousy tchotchkes and collectiblely stuff for sale…buttons, magnets, key chains, that sort of thing.  Most were made of carved wood in the shape of Africa, or Ghana and painted in green, yellow, black, and red.

Some had religious symbols or sayings on them.

My personal favorite?  The ones that somehow got through quality assurance that said:

” Except Jesus”

In hindsight, I wish I would have bought one of them.  🙂


Numanbolofe

For most people who live in the United States there is no specific circumscribed societally appropriate method of greeting others.  Whether it be friends, or family, or strangers, or new acquaintances, greetings can take any number of forms.

And for the most part, you’re probably not going be completely offensive to the other person.

One hand shake, taking both hands, hugging, cheek kissing…it’s all mostly okay given various circumstances.

Not so in many other parts of the world.  When traveling, it’s a good idea to find out how greetings are to take place.  How do you greet people younger than you?  How do you greet those who are your elders?  How do you greet those who are “equals” to you?

Make a mistake and you can really offend.

In the Western African countries that we visited, you never shook hands left handed or for that matter, ate left handed, or took something from someone with your left hand.

One of the local languages, Bambara, incorporated this custom into their words for left and right.  The word for “right” is kinibolofe…translated as “rice eating hand”.  The word for “left” is numanbolofe…”nose picking hand”.

🙂


15 Spices

Day 11

Shortly after our arrival in Timbuktu and getting settled in at the Sahara Passion, we were invited out into the courtyard for dinner.

As I scooped up small amounts of seasoned rice and bits of meat out of the communal bowl with my right hand, compressed and rolled it into balls and popped them into my mouth, I was only slightly taken aback by the somewhat gritty feel and crunchiness of the food as I chewed it.  No one else seemed to either notice or mind the sensation, so I continued to eat the food as they did.  It was, afterall, very delicious and flavorful!

It was after we were finished eating that the mystery of the gritty was solved.

I learned that there’s a saying in Timbuktu……….

Timbuktu is the land of 15 spices………and the 15th is sand.

🙂


American Breakfast

If you see the words “American Breakfast” on the menu, what comes to mind?

Things that I sort of consider to be “American” breakfast foods (depending on what part of America we’re talking about):

  • Pancakes
  • Scrambled eggs or over easy friend eggs
  • Cold cereal
  • Smoothies
  • Grits
  • Thin crispy slices of bacon
  • Hash browns
  • Eggs Benedict
  • Biscuits and gravy
Then there are foods we’ve co-opted from other countries that frequent the American breakfast plate:
  • Bagels
  • Waffles
  • Croissants
  • Breakfast burritos
  • Crepes
  • Huevos Rancheros
  • Scones
  • Beignets
So when Abner and I were at The Green Turtle Lodge at the beach in Ghana, we looked a bit puzzled at each other when we saw baked beans on the menu under “American Breakfast”.  Whether or not you are an American…are baked beans what YOU imagine when you think of breakfast in America??

Veggie Tales…West African Style

We stopped on our bus rides across West Africa.  We stopped (and broke down) a LOT.  Most of the stops have blurred together in my mind.  But, it WAS somewhere in Mali.  I’m sure of that.  I see a guy walking down the street towards Abner and me and he was wearing a white shirt with what appeared to be a familiarish cartoonish green cucumber on it.

Me to Abner:  “Look!  How funny!!  That guy is wearing a Veggie Tales shirt in the middle of nowhere Mali!”

Abner to me as the shirted man gets closer:  “Uh, that’s not a veggie, that’s a condom!”

So it was.  (It was an HIV education shirt).  And much laughter ensued…

🙂


Ghahahahana!! :-)

My recent adventure to West Africa started in Senegal.  From Senegal we traveled to Mali and then on to Burkina Faso.  These three countries are French speaking and largely Muslim.  The final country on our itinerary was Ghana.  English speaking and largely Christian.  I’m skipping to the end to do a little bit of an easy chuckler post.  🙂

The minute we crossed over the border from Burkina into Ghana I started chuckling!  And the chuckles continued throughout our time there.

Why?

Well, the names of the businesses which lined the road pretty much cracked me up!  Most of the time you really didn’t know what the place sold by the name.  Sometimes you’d get a hint in the name.  Sometimes you could tell from the sampling of wares you could see…from caskets to tires to bread…

Here is a few of the names that were on my side of the road as we drove by:

  • Power House of Cement
  • The Blood of Christ Can Do It Better
  • Born Again Supermarket
  • No Sweat and Joy Drinking Spot
  • God’s Will Enterprises
  • No Bribe At Heaven
  • Patience To All Enterprises
  • God’s Grace MTN
  • God First
  • I Thank God
  • God Is Good
  • By His Grace Perfect Touch Beauty Salon
  • Maranantha God
  • Pray For Life
  • Great God of Wonders
  • Ps 121 Home Cooking
  • Jesus Never Fails
  • Iddi(sic) Amin Enterprises
  • In His Time Store
  • Christ the Redeember Beauty Salon
  • God is Our Strength

And my favorites…

  • Patience Fast Food
  • With God All Things Are Possible Beauty Salon
Pictures on loan from Abner…best travel partner EVER.  🙂


“I’ll be back.”

Some think that Arnold Schwarzenegger’s “I’ll be back” line is the best movie line ever.  Others perhaps think Rhett Butler’s “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” takes that honor.  Me?  I am thinking I’m partial to this one:

My dad will like this  for sure, so I think it’s fitting to put this clip here as a Happy Fathers’ Day shout out to my pop!


Photo Friday – “Prohibition”

Todays Photo Friday challenge is “Prohibition”.  We were to share things we are prohibited to do in our own hometowns.  You must check out Jan’s entry at “A Curious State of Affairs” for a mind-boggling collection of prohibitions found within a four minute stroll from her home!

I am only sharing a single photograph.  There is something about a prohibited sign that makes me want to do just what I am told not to do.  A few months ago I was in a nearby park with my nephew and coerced him into my lawlessness!

Lawlessness In The Garden of the Gods by you.

 Enjoy your friday!  I’m off to work!  🙂 

Advance Diary

 Friday 19th June:  Author’s choice –  The Colours of Summer

Friday 26th June: Author’s choice – Looking Down (from a great height perferably – or from an upper window)

 


Helpful Swine Flu Link

I was forwarded this by my friend, (and office manager of one of my jobs) Holly.  We work in the vaccination world, so we get lots of calls and questions about swine flu.

Thought I’d pass it along to you.  Information is power!

Click HERE.


You Might Be a Nurse If….

Every once in awhile a list of things which, if they apply to you, might mean you are a nurse, gets circulated around.  Each time it comes around, there is usually a new addition, or more, to the list.  Some of them are perennial favorites of mine, like:

You might be a nurse if you recognize you can’t cure stupid.

Or…

You might be a nurse if you consider a tongue depressor an eating utinsel.

Or…

You might be a nurse if eating popcorn out of a clean bedpan is a completely natural thing to do.

Or…

You might be a nurse if you’ve ever heard someone with a nose ring, a brow ring, 12 earrings and sleeve tattoos say “I’m afraid of shots”.

Or…

You might be a nurse if your friends and family hate to watch medical sitcoms and dramas with you because you spend the whole time pointing out errors and upside-down X-rays.

I could go on.

But there was a new one on the latest list sent around to me and it cracked me up cuz it’s sooooo true!!!!!

You might be a nurse if you wash your hands BEFORE you go to the bathroom!!!

Still crackin’ up at that one!


gina wild conny tube

Yeah.  That’s the latest weird search engine criteria to have brought someone to my blog.

My dad called yesterday and chastised me for not keeping my friday commitment, meaning WHY HAVEN’T I BEEN DOING PHOTO FRIDAY?!!!!

I have no good excuse.  Unless being busy and tired is a good excuse, which even I know it’s not.

Dad, I’ll try to be better!  Thanks for the call!  🙂


“My Mom Is Having a Stroke!”

My first nursing job was on an orthopedic unit in a Los Angeles hospital.  A large percentage of the patients admitted there had undergone hip and knee replacements.  The nature of this type of surgery and the populations in which it is generally performed means that there can be significant post-operative complications.  These patients are especially vulnerable in the first few days following surgery.

But I was taken by surprise when the daughter of one elderly patient, who was nearly ready to be discharged home and who had been doing remarkably well up until that morning, came running to the nurses station shouting that her mom was having a stroke.  I rushed into the room, not exactly certain what to expect.

There my patient sat, in her chair, her mouth very twisted, drooling.  She was having terrible difficulties with speech, but seemed mentally clear and was able to follow all instructions.  Her hand grips were equal and strong, she denied having a headache, she denied any numbness or weakness anywhere and was able to take steps normally, she had no vision changes.  I asked her to smile to check on the symmetry of her mouth, but she struggled to do this and was unable to despite repeated attempts.  I didn’t think she was having a stroke, but clearly something WAS horribly wrong.  The symptoms seemed to come on suddenly, out of the blue, and there was no progression.  Her vitals were fine.  I was a new nurse, and I kind of wanted to panic, but the family was all staring at me, counting on me to handle the situation professionally.

Resisting the urge to call for help at this point as I WAS the help, and before sending out the alarm, I decided to calmly ask a few more questions.  The answer that sent a bell off in my head was that the symptoms exactly coincided with the insertion of her dentures.  I asked her to take them out.

When she popped the top denture out we all broke out laughing.  She had put her dentures in upside down!  The twisting of her mouth, the inablity to speak or smile, and the drooling was due to the fight she was having to keep the dentures from falling out!

Boy, would I have been embarrassed to have sent up flares and had a doctor come in only to discover the same thing.

This is one of those patient stories you remember forever!  Don’t have any idea why I was thinking of her particulary today, but just thought I would share that little story.  Moral?  Always take the time to evaluate a situation before panicking!  🙂


Hope For The Inabled! I LOVE America!!!

AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT (AWNAA)

January 21, 2009 at 07:06 pm  

WASHINGTON, DC – Congress is considering sweeping legislation that will provide new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNAA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said
Barbara Boxer.  “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no
longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing.”

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%),and home
improvement “warehouse” stores (65%) The DMV also has a great record of hiring Persons of Inability. (63%)

Under the Americans With No Abilities Act, more than 25 million “middle man” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little
real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The
legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions,
and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory
interview questions such as “Do you have any goals for the future?” or “Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?”

“As a Nonabled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said one woman, who lost her position as a
lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , MI due to her lack of notable job skills. “This new law should really help people like me.” With the passage of this bill, she and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.


“Price Does Not Include Taxes, or Cheese” AND Gas Prices

Do you ever have the radio on and realize that you aren’t really listening when something catches your attention and then you WISHED you’d been paying attention  when you hear that quick and low voiced lawyer generated disclaimer at the end of a commercial that says

“pricedoesnotincludetaxes,orcheese”?

That happened to me today.  What sort of specially priced item do you suppose required that disclaimer??  I was laughing!  It’s just so odd!!  I bet I’ll never hear it again either so it will be a mystery forever!  Some lawyer actually got paid to come up with that.  I bet he/she is laughing, too, all the way to the bank!

Also, I think that my question of just how low gas prices can get has finally been answered.  A few days ago the gas at my favorite gas station was $1.32/gal.  Today it was $1.35.  All the stations in town have recently bumped their prices, so I guess it’s over. 

Watching the gas prices tumble was fun while it lasted!


“Andy Warhol Duck Bathroom”

This was the search criteria entered by some dear reader that brought them to my blog.

Scratching my head! 

I crack up sometimes at 1) the things that people actually search for, and 2) how the search engine decided that my blog fit that criteria!

Andy Warhol I get.  But Duck Bathroom in addition???

LOL.


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