Every once in awhile I get to dream about her. I often remember my dreams. I am lucky. My brother would love to dream about her. Or better, remember the dream if he had one. Maybe I get the dreams because I remember them. I hesitate sharing my dreams with Phil. It’s hard on him. He wants so much to see Connie again, even if it’s in his sleep. But he’s told me he wants to hear about the dreams anyway, even though it wrecks him. Grief is never far from us.
I got “a Connie dream” sometime on Saturday before rising. I remember the jeans she was wearing. I remember them because I was surprised she was wearing them. She always thought they were “too tight”. They weren’t, but she thought they were.
I also remember that she came to me to share something that had been on her heart.
As Christians, we are taught that there is no sadness or grief in heaven. Connie wanted to let us know that even though there is not “sadness” there, that she is not unaware of OUR sadness and that she has deep emotion about our grieving. I have no idea if this is Biblically accurate or not, but it was comforting to me to think that she is perhaps able to see us and know that we miss her, and that she, having gone before us, is looking forward to the day when we will reunite again, and there will be no more tears. I often tire of crying. I cry so easily since she died.
I have no idea how heaven works, except that the joy of being with our Savior must be beyond measure.
One of my niece’s school friends, only 14 years old, died suddenly while at school earlier this week. And the sister/daughter of friends of mine passed away Saturday after a long illness. A friend of mine called me from work yesterday. She was waiting for the family of a young husband and father who collapsed and died playing basketball to arrive at the emergency department so that they could be told of their loss. One completely unexpected death, one not wholly unexpected death, and the death of man to whom I have no connection, has touched my life this week. And Connie. Somehow this “visit” of hers to my dream has comforted me.
My heart grieves as each of these families is only beginning to deal with the loss of their loved one. I can’t help but remember what these first days were like for me and my own family.
To the families of Megan, and of Jan, and of this unknown young man, you are in my thoughts and my prayers.
“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” (Revelation 21:4)